Exit India

So I left Delhi for the last time this trip, looking forward to get to Mumbai, which is overall a much better city - its livlier, more culturally rich, there are better traveller hangouts and after seeing Slumdog Millionaire in Nepal (if you haven't watched it yet, then do it now!) I was itching to get back and take another look at the place, this time not as a green newbie to backpacking but as someone who had survived the trial by fire that is travelling through the subcontinent. When I got to Mumbai I checked in at Red Shield Dorm, the place where I had stayed most nights in Mumbai last time, and where I knew I would meet other travellers. I checked in, dumped my stuff under my bed (padlocking it to the underside) and set off in search of a good dosa, one of South Indias best foods - a savoury pancake often 2-3 ft long stuffed with a masala mix of curried potato, dates, dried fruits, nuts, paneer (Indian cheese, a bit like cottage cheese), Dhal and other seasonal vegetables. I found a good place to do them, and was soon full up. Headed back to the hostel and got talking with an English guy called Anthony. We went out for Beers at Leopolds, an old colonial bar that most of the foreigners in Mumbai seem to inhabit, and then made our way back. Halfway to the dorm, we were met by one of the strangest people I have met travelling. He first offered to sell us a dog. Then half a dog when he realised we weren't going for that sales pitch. Finally, he claimed he was a pirate. That got our attention. Ant cut in
-What do you want??
The guy, who was not much over 5ft5 and did genuinly look like a pirate with long greasy black hair and beard, and with half his teeth missing, casually informed us that
-I can take you on the most magical trip around this city. Show you things you've never seen before. Literally, it will turn your head upside down.
Great, I thought. We've met a pirate LSD dealer. But no, he was actually a tour guide, and rattled off a list of places he could show us, most of which I'd never heard of. He also had an impressive grasp on his English skills, so we asked his price. It was reasonable enough, about 6 quid each for a day, and if he stayed this loony it would be money well spent.
We met him the next day, where he happily informed us that he had felt a bit ill that morning so had had half a litre of local spirit (which is, I'm informed, around 70%) and was now pleasantly drunk. We caught a taxi (another thing I loved about Mumbai - all the taxis were old ambassador 1940 style cars) and visited a multitude of places (and bars along the way, turns out this pirate liked - and couldn't really hold - his drink) including the meat market (think of a scene out of texas chainsaw massacre, with added rats), the laundry sector (about 10 acres where people just did the laundry for everyone across the city) and the slums where the Slumdog Millionaire was filmed. By the end of the day he was wasted, absolutely trolleyed, and could barely walk. We gave him his money and watched him stagger into a liquor store and immediately spend it all. We then went to Leopolds and got slightly drunk ourselves with the rest of Red Shield. My final day in Mumbai, I slept in before doing some last minute shopping for Indian souvenirs such as sunglasses and pirate CDs. We (about 10 of us from Red Shield) went for my last Indian meal - a Lebanese. It was, in all fairness, very good. After that, realising that I had slightly stayed to long in the resteraunt, there was a mad panic to get my stuff, get a taxi and get to the airport. I was leaving India. But I was sure I'd be back.